The holidays arrive with the promise of joy, connection, and celebration; yet for many people, this season brings a complex mix of emotions that don’t always match what we see in movies or on social media. In therapy, December often reveals a silent truth: the holidays can intensify stress, loneliness, financial strain, and old wounds that feel easier to ignore during the rest of the year.
One of the most common challenges is the pressure to feel happy. Research shows that social comparison increases significantly during the holiday season, particularly through social media, where curated moments can intensify feelings of inadequacy or isolation (Chou & Edge, 2012). When someone is already navigating anxiety, depression, or burnout, the expectation to be cheerful can create what it is called emotional dissonance; the uncomfortable gap between what we feel and what we think we “should” feel.
Family dynamics can be another source of emotional weight. Even in healthy families, old patterns can resurface quickly. For those with strained or distant relationships, holiday gatherings can trigger unresolved conflict, grief, or a sense of not belonging. Studies on family stress highlight that perceived family demands and emotional intensity rise sharply in December (Larson et al., 2013). This can leave people feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or emotionally drained.
Financial pressure is also common this time of year. Gifts, travel, events, and hosting responsibilities can stretch budgets in ways that heighten stress and shame. Financial strain has been linked to increased anxiety and depressive symptoms during holiday periods, particularly for parents who feel responsible for creating “a magical experience” for their children (Gudmunson et al., 2007).
For many, grief feels sharper at this time of year. The empty seat at the table, the traditions that cannot be continued, and the contrast between personal loss and the external emphasis on togetherness can make sadness feel heavier. Research on bereavement shows that anniversaries and culturally significant dates intensify grief responses, even years after a loss (Neimeyer, 2015).
Even the disruption of everyday routines — sleep, nutrition, movement, boundaries, personal downtime — can impact how grounded we feel. When schedules shift and expectations grow, it’s common for people to lose their emotional footing without fully realizing why.
While every person’s experience is unique, there are grounded, therapist-informed ways to care for yourself throughout the holidays. Honouring your emotional reality can relieve internal pressure; naming what you’re truly feeling is a powerful form of self-compassion. Setting gentle but firm boundaries, such as limiting the length of gatherings or declining events that feel overwhelming, helps protect your emotional safety and energy.
Maintaining small grounding routines can keep you centred when the season becomes overstimulating. Short walks, mindful breathing, brief journaling, or stepping outside for a few quiet minutes can support nervous system regulation. Planning for the moments you know may be difficult (whether related to grief, conflict, or anxiety) can also make the season feel more manageable. Having supportive people you can reach out to, comforting activities nearby, or a few ready grounding techniques can be deeply stabilizing.
It’s helpful to stay mindful of how substance use, and emotional triggers show up during this time of year, approaching these decisions with awareness rather than impulse. Engaging in cultural or personal rituals that feel authentic to you, and letting go of those that don’t, can also bring a sense of grounding and meaning back into the season.
And if the emotional weight feels heavier than expected, reaching out for professional support is a meaningful act of care. Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgmental space to process the mix of emotions the holidays can bring, reconnect with your needs, and find a way through the season that feels authentic, compassionate, and sustainable.
At Attunement Psychotherapy Centre, we see this season as a time when emotional awareness matters more than ever. There is no need to pretend. No one needs to push away their internal experience to fit a seasonal script. Whether someone is navigating family stress, burnout, grief, or the pressure to “do it all,” support can create space to slow down, regulate the nervous system, and reconnect with what feels manageable and meaningful.
References
Chou, H.-T., & Edge, N. (2012). “They Are Happier and Having Better Lives Than I Am”: The Impact of Using Facebook on Perceptions of Others’ Lives. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking.
Gudmunson, C. G., et al. (2007). Financial strain and emotional well-being: A family stress perspective. Journal of Family and Economic Issues.
Larson, R., et al. (2013). Family emotional dynamics across the holiday season. Journal of Family Psychology.
Neimeyer, R. A. (2015). Meaning reconstruction in bereavement: Development of a research program. Death Studies.
