Trust is a big deal when it comes to any relationship, whether it’s romance, family, or friendship. But what does trust really mean, and how can it slip away? If you’ve found yourself struggling with a broken trust, don’t worry—you’re not alone! This blog will dig into what trust means, how it can be lost, the emotional impact of that loss, and what you can do to help rebuild it.
What Does Trust Really Mean?
Trust is all about believing that someone has your back and will act in your best interests. It’s feeling safe enough to be open and honest without fear of judgment. Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship expert, says trust comes down to two main ideas: making promises and keeping them. When both people in a relationship feel like they can rely on each other, that’s where strong trust begins.
Did you know that research has shown trust isn’t just a feeling? It’s something that builds and changes based on how you interact over time (Vaughan, 2016). So, it can grow stronger or weaker depending on what happens in your relationship.
How Trust Can Be Lost
Losing trust often happens bit by bit, but sometimes it can happen all at once. Some common reasons trust gets broken include:
– Betrayal: Whether it’s lying, cheating, or sharing secrets, betrayal is a tough hit.
– Broken Promises: Failing to follow through on what you say can lead to doubt and insecurity.
– Lack of Communication: When you stop talking openly about your feelings, misunderstandings can pile up and lead to distrust.
Surprisingly, a survey from the American Psychological Association found that about 70% of people say a major betrayal played a role in ending their relationships. It’s that common!
The Emotional Impact of Broken Trust
When trust gets broken, the emotional fallout can be heavy. Feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger often rush in. This emotional mess can cloud your judgment and seriously affect how you see yourself. Dr. Brené Brown, who studies vulnerability and shame, points out that losing trust can leave you feeling isolated and ashamed, making healing even harder.
You might notice some of these signs if you’re dealing with broken trust:
– Anxiety: You might feel nervous about being close to someone again.
– Sadness: Feelings of worthlessness can creep in.
– Overthinking: You might start obsessing over what went wrong, trying to figure things out all the time.
Recognizing these feelings is an essential step toward healing. It’s crucial to understand that it can take time to heal from emotional pain.
Rebuilding Trust: Is It Possible?
The good news is that trust can often be rebuilt—though it takes effort from both sides. Here’s how you can start working on it:
1. Talk It Out: Have open conversations about what happened. Share your feelings and listen to each other.
2. Take Responsibility: The person who broke the trust needs to acknowledge their actions. This is key to moving forward.
3. Look for Forgiveness: Both people need to work towards forgiveness to start fresh.
4. Create New Memories: Focus on building new, positive experiences together to replace old, negative ones.
Research shows that couples who communicate openly about trust issues tend to feel more satisfied and connected (Segrin et al., 2017).
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we might hit a wall and need a little extra help. If your feelings become too overwhelming or if communicating with your partner feels impossible, seeking professional help could be the right step.
Therapists can provide fresh insights and facilitate conversations that you might find too difficult to have on your own. They can introduce techniques that can strengthen trust and help you navigate your feelings.
A review by the American Psychological Association found that couples therapy often leads to improved relationship satisfaction and helps with trust issues (Wampold & Imel, 2015).
Conclusion
Losing trust in a relationship can feel like a gut punch, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. With commitment, communication, and sometimes professional support, you can rebuild that trust and even strengthen your bond. If you’re feeling lost, take a step forward today—whether by reaching out to a friend or seeking therapy. Remember, you don’t have to figure it all out alone! Trust can be rebuilt, and healing is definitely possible.
References:
– Vaughan, M. (2016). Effects of Trust on Relationship Dynamics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
– Segrin, C., et al. (2017). Communication and Relationship Satisfaction: The Role of Trust. The Journal of Family Psychology.
– Wampold, B. E., & Imel, Z. E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Therapy Work. American Psychological Association.
